Castlewood Canyon and the Attack of the Bipeds

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Today I took a nice walk through Castlewood Canyon. I hesitate to call it a hike as, although it was rather warm and did take the better part of two hours, it was not too difficult to navigate. The only real difficulty was in tolerating the bipedal creatures everywhere that have become a nuisance to the area. Personally, I found the scattered poison oak to be less of a concern.

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You see, having a group of immature bipedal hominids tromping up behind you at full gate is unsettling enough, but when they number near a dozen and are clearly no longer in the control of the unconcerned matronly bipedal hominid, it can be rather frightening.

I moved wide off the path to allow plenty of room for the creatures to pass after several minutes of listening to their callow cries of “No! Sophie! No!” This cry was repeated every 20 to 30 seconds for as long as I could hear them bearing down upon me. It was, apparently aimed at an unfortunate quadruped they had enslaved and were dragging along the trail with a leash.

‘Sophie’ attempted to plea with me for help, but I felt hopelessly outnumbered and was afraid to draw attention to myself. In a desperate bid for freedom, ‘Sophie’ wrapped the leash around me and nearly sent both of us off the edge of the trail and into the ravine below.

The bipedal hominids were adequately amused and deemed to allow ‘Sophie’ and I to live, although ‘Sophie’ did not gain freedom.

Cowering in terror, I hid and waited until I thought the troop had passed before venturing on myself.

I encountered them again short while later. I was confused by the very strong scent of multiple aerosol cans of UV blocking chemicals being propelled into the atmosphere, and stumbled upon them rapidly attempting to wash those same chemicals off in the little stream I had just been attempting to admire.

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I moved on quickly, hoping to avoid detection, wondering how well the little fish in the stream would survive the chemical onslaught.

I did not make it far before I encountered another troop of bipedal hominids, also in the water. These were making use of primitive tools they must have recently discovered, as they all, from the youngest to oldest were making use of a hoop with netting stretched across it.

I am unsure what they were attempting to net, but they all were searching in the shaded water, under the edges of the large rocks. They had a large Styrofoam container they were apparently trying to fill with whatever poor creatures they caught.

I quickly moved on past this, too, wondering how long it would take a troop this size, at least ten, to completely wipe out such a small ecosystem.

I passed another large troop, with another enslaved quadruped that also attempted to involve me in a bid for freedom, but I was wise to the maneuver and escaped easily.

A couple of smaller troops, generally appearing to be mated pairs, passed by without incident, and actually seemed friendly, but I was leery.

There were signs that many of these bipedal hominids had been here for quite some time. Places where they appeared to have nested or attempted to hide some of their valuable plastics and clothing items.

While I only momentarily felt myself in any danger, I worry for Castlewood Canyon. It appears to be wearing under the siege.